Book thoughts: The stranger times by C.K. McDonnell.

 

When Hannah finds herself almost penniless in Manchester, and in desperate need of a job, she unwittingly finds herself thrust into the crazy world of the strangers times newspaper. Her new boss an eccentric and incredibly moody Irish man, quickly has her doubting her choices. But desperate times call for desperate measures and at this point, what has she got to lose. 

This book is full of vivid and exciting characters and will keep you laughing from the very first page, to the very last. 

McDonnell is a talented writer, who has a knack for keeping you intrigued, and a very unique and wonderful writing style. 

I've not come across his books before but would certainly be interested in reading more of his books in the future. 

As always a big thank you to NetGalley, C.K. McDonnell and his publisher, for allowing me to read an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review. 

If you would like to know more you can read the blurb and pre-order a copy of your  very own by clicking here. This book will be released on January 14th 2021. And is currently available in ebook, audio and hardback formats. 

Let's talk about Crohn's disease.

 

As some of you already know I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease earlier this year. It's been a bit of a whirlwind year, what with Covid and Crohn's, but although I have only just been diagnosed with Crohn's. My IBD team now believe I have had it since I was a child. 

So what it Crohn's, Crohn's is an irritable bowel disease also know as IBD. Unlike it's sister disease Ulcerated Colitis, which can effect the large intestines, Crohn's can infect the whole digestive tracked. From your mouth, all the way down to your butt. 

Crohn's is caused by what is effectively a faulty immune system. Our immune system is designed to protect our bodies from threats. However, for those of us with Crohn's, our immune systems have got a bit confused. Instead of attacking threats in our bodies, they have started to attack healthy tissue. 

This can lead to inflammation, fistula's and strictures among other things. 

My Crohn's is very severe. Probably due to it not being diagnosed earlier enough. So I have what they call Severe fistulated Crohn's. 

This means that as well as inflammation I have holes in my intestines. One of which goes up into my abdomen. 

My Crohn's needs some pretty serious medicine to keep it in check. And that is all they can currently do with Crohn's, try to manage it with medication, as there is currently no cure. 

There are lots of different medications for Crohn's from tablets, through to injections that you can administer yourself at home, and regular infusions. I have infusions, and I have these every eight weeks, at the hospital. 

An infusion is done, by inserting a canula and slowly over a couple of hours or so, pumping the medication into your system. 

I am currently having Infliximab infusions at very high doses. Infliximab is a chemo drug. But is no longer used to treat Cancer. Us lucky Crohnies still get to have it though. 

My Gastro doctor, also wants to add in a second Chemo drug, although this will be in much lower doses and I will take it daily in tablet form. This second drug is to try to stop my body developing antibodies that will stop the infliximab from working. Which it has already started to do. 

The infusions are relatively painless, but you can have a lot of unpleasant side effects. Including hair loss, tiredness, nausea, rashes, chemical burns, dizziness and seizures, to name just a few. 

I also have to wear a medical alert bracelet, so that if anything every happens and an ambulance is called, they can see what medication I am on, and know that I have a compromised immune system. 

Because that is what the infliximab does, it stops the immune system working properly, so that it can no longer attack your body. But this means that you are at a greater risk of catching bugs and not being able to fight off infection. 

Which means, we have to be very careful not to be around people who are sick, and to keep wounds clean. We also qualify for the Flu jab, every year. 

Another option for managing Crohn's is surgery and a lot of people with Crohn's have had multiple surgeries. Some as many as 60 or 70 operations. This can't cure the Crohn's, but as my gastro doctor explained to me just the other day, it can remove the infected and thinned areas, and repair fistula's which then give them a clean slate to work from, when it comes to medication. Sadly, though this does not mean that you can come off the Chemo. 

Some people do only have the infusions for a few years, and then go onto other medication. But for some, such as myself, their Crohn's is seen as too severe, and so that means, we will probably have to have Chemo, every 8 weeks for the rest of our life. 

When you first start having infusions, they will be space closer together, these are know as the loading doses. They are done at what is know as week 0, week 2 and week 6. So that essentially means you will have your first one, then two weeks later your second, then six weeks later your 3 and then the 4 and all following ones, every 8 weeks. 

There is one thing you learn quickly with Crohn's, however, and that is there are no set rules, everyone's Crohn's is different and so treatment and frequency of treatments can vary. 

Now this is where it gets tricky. What are the symptoms of Crohn's? Well, it effects everyone differently. But stomach pain, diarrhea, constipation, weight loss, anemia and a general lack of energy are some of the more common symptoms. 

People with Crohn's, also very rarely have just crohn's. It can cause all kinds of other health problems, including inflammatory arthritis, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Anemia, skin disorders, osteoporosis, gall bladder or liver disease, mouth and gum problems, and many more. 

It is rare for people to die from Crohn's itself but they can die due to problems caused by Crohn's or the medication used to treat Crohn's and they can also die from other diseases that have been caused by the Crohn's. 

So what has Crohn's done to me? 

I have very limited mobility due to Crohn's, as I developed an illness that is connected to Crohn's called Ankylosing Spondylitis, this is inflammation around the lower spine and can lead to the spine fusing together over time. 

I have receding gums and very few teeth left at the top of my mouth, only two molars either side, and all of the teeth on the bottom of my mouth are very loose and may overtime come out on their own. I have already had one do this. 

I suffered from anxiety disorder for years although I am starting to get a handle on this now. Stomach problems that were misdiagnosed as IBS, Irritable bowel syndrome. Inflammatory arthritis, nerve damage that can cause me to suddenly twinge and throw things or let go of the things I am holding, and cause my hands to shake. Once my leg decided to twinge just as I was lifting up the other leg to take a step and I went crashing to the floor. 

I've suffered from anaemia for years and looks like the walking dead, my son and husband used to joke that I was a vampire. I cannot deal with extreme temperatures either too hot or too cold, and I can feel freezing cold when it is boiling hot, or boiling hot when it is freezing cold, which is great fun. NOT! 

I also have insomnia frequently get sores and rashes all over my body, my hair is falling out, my mouth, nose and throat and tear ducts are infected, and I have lots of canker sores in my mouth which means eating can be quite painful. 

And something really gross. The skin on my tongue frequently peels off in great big strips. Lovely right. 

In essence Crohn's is a horrible disease and if they are every going to find a cure, they are going to need people to donate. But sadly Crohn's isn't as well known or understood as say, cancer or heart disease, so it gets a bit neglected.  

So if you would like a worthy cause to raise money for why not consider crohn's and colitus uk.

Well that's it from me, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

And remember to stay healthy, cause the alternative sucks. 

Book thoughts: Silent night by Nell Pattison.

    Paige Northwood, works as a freelance sign language interpreter. Having learned to sign as a child in order to communicate with her deaf family, Paige loves her work, but when she finds herself interpreting for the police, in the investigation of a missing deaf boy, and a murdered head teacher, she finds herself buried in a silent web of lies, deception and deceit so deep, she isn't sure they can ever get to the bottom of it. But with a child's life at stake, and the potential for more children to be harmed, Paige knows that the truth must be pulled from the silence. 

    This is a gripping read, with an interesting take on your typical crime/mystery/thriller book. Paige is an engaging and intriguing character who is easy to like, and relate to. She cares deeply and try's not to jump to conclusions. Their are a lot of different characters in this book though and that sometimes made it hard for me to keep track and I often muddled them up. Although with my Crohn's disease turning my brain to mush, it's not that hard for me to get muddled.

     There was some clever misdirection in play with this book, which meant I was pretty much left guessing till the very end. Which is always a good thing in these types of book. 

    And despite my struggled to keep the characters all straight in my head, I did really enjoy this one, and am very grateful to NetGalley, Nell Pattison and her publisher, for allowing me to read a copy of this great book, for free in return for and honest review. It has been an absolute pleasure. 

    If you interested in reading the blurb or getting your own copy of this great book, you can do so by Clicking here. It's currently available  as a paperback, eBook and audio book. And at the time of publishing was on offer, in Kindle format for just 99p so if you want a kind copy, go grab yours quick. 

Week in review

    It's been a tough week, I spoke to my specialist on Monday, and didn't exactly get the news I was hoping for. I mean it was nothing majorly bad. Just, I guess, the straw that broke the camels back I guess. 

    So basically, my body is already building up antibodies to the infliximab so they want to add in a second chemo drug to counteract that. Which given all the horrible side effects I am currently having from the one they already have me on, pretty much broke me. I couldn't sleep that night and only managed to grab a couple of hours in the early morning after having a good cry. 

    He also talked about surgery, it wouldn't be a cure, as there is no cure for Crohn's but he said if they remove the infected area and the area with the stricter and sort out the fistula's we could at least be starting with a clean slate, and it would make it easier for the drugs to do their job. 

    But here was the real kicker of the whole conversation. He said, that he thought I would need to stay on Chemo for the rest of my life!

    And I'm not gonna lie, that hurt. I always had this belief that given time, or surgery my Crohn's would settle down and I could stop having the infusions. But apparently my Crohn's is to severe for that to be likely. 

    Now, I've managed to stay pretty positive throughout this, but there are times when it is just impossible to keep smiling and joking and this was one of mine. I felt terrible and I have spent most of the week feeling pretty low. And just not really having the energy to do anything. 

    I've forced myself to though, in fact Kye and I have got caught up on our forensic psychology course this week, as we started it like two weeks late, as that was when I discovered it and I've force myself to get other things done, because you have to don't you, but I've felt so low. 

    And then couple of days ago, I got a letter from my head IBD nurse, telling me I had to self isolate. So while the rest of Cornwall are laughing it up in tier one, I'm still in frigging lock down. I mean it doesn't make a huge difference as we don't go out a lot anyway, but I'd been craving a trip to B&M and was looking forward to December starting, so I could and then this. Grrrrr. 

    I know, I know it's for my own good, and it's not safe to be running about out there with a compromised immune system, but still, it sucks!

    Still I guess it makes the whole Christmas thing easier, as poor mum was gonna have to choose, between her 3 daughters and each of our families, as to which to have in her bubble, as you only allowed 2 other households, so now I'm not an option anyway, she can see my two sisters and their kids without feeling guilty about leaving me out and I can pretend, that I would have been one of her choices, even though we all know I wouldn't. Not unless she just broke the rules and saw all three of us anyway. 

    And no I am not having a pity party about that, trust me, when it comes to our family, I am the black sheep and have been for a very long time, but it's a long story so I shall spare you the details. 

    But to give you an idea of our family dynamic, I have, had more facebook friends ask if I am okay and message me to see how I am doing, than I have brothers or sister and bare in mind I have eight brothers and sisters. And only one of them has commented about my condition and that isn't messaging to ask how I am doing, that's literally just commenting on facebook posts. 

    Thankfully, I have a lot of awesome friends, so it doesn't really matter, but still, it stings a bit. Especially right now when I am feeling so low. 

    Any who, that's pretty much me this week, a self pitying, miserable, tearful person, I hope your week has been better. 

    Love and hugs 

    Joss xx 

 

Book thoughts: The Proctor Hall Horror by Bill Thompson.

     Dr Julian Girard, likes to put his students to the test, and each year he assigns them a project, on which they must work as a team, to research and evaluate  something from South Louisiana history.

    This year he is certain that he has picked the perfect team of four, to tackle his favourite topic, The Proctor Hall Horror. 

    In 1963, at a plantation house, in South Louisiana,  a teenage boy was found, sitting on the stairs of his home, covered in blood. 

    On further investigation, his parents and sister were found dead, but propped up on the sofa as if they were waiting for someone, however, it was instantly apparent, that they were no longer living, as their heads, were no longer attached to their bodies, but instead, sat upon the mantle, like ghoulish ornaments.  

    There son, Noah,  a mute was believed to be the culprit, but was never convicted, nor did he go to trial as he was deemed insane and unfit for trial. Instead he was lucked up in an asylum, until years later when he was deemed to be no fret to himself or others, released and returned to his old home, to live with the caretakers, who now resided there and had known him all his life. 

    but the Mystery didn't end there. Years later a young girl vanishes in a storm, her boat found docked in front of Proctor hall, and an item that belonged to her, found discarded by it's door. Again Noah is accused, but when no other evidence is found, he walks yet again. 

    Determined to succeed in their project and win the notoriously difficult to get A, from their professor, Marisol, April, Micheal and Andy have no idea what they are getting themselves into, and their not alone in wanting to learn the truth about Proctor Hall, a whole host of other interesting characters are about to enter their lives and the Bayou's of Louisiana and not all of them will escape with their lives. 

    There are a lot of great twists and turns in this book, and plenty of surprises. It's tense and interesting and I won't lie it had me pretty hooked. However, as with a lot of horror books there are a few things that are a little far fetch, that April, suddenly happens to be clairvoyant and never bothered to mention it before, was one of them. I'll admit, that had me rolling my eyes. That things were able to occur with everyone so close and them not hear it, again doubtful, especially when you discover what actually caused those things to happen. You also don't get to really bond with the characters and connect with any of them, but it's not the longest novel in the world and their are an awful lot of characters, and that didn't really effect my enjoyment of the book, as there was so much going on to keep me engrossed and sucked in. And realistically this is a horror, it's job isn't to give you characters that you bond with, it's to keep you on the edge of your seat, get your hairs standing on edge and maybe have you freaked out about going to the bathroom on your own. And this one did a pretty good job of that, I wasn't at any point really scared but I was hooked and intrigued and desperate to find out more and that's good enough for me. So despite the odd unbelievable moments I think I am still gonna give this a pretty decent 4 out of 5. Because I did enjoy it and I'd definitely be interested in reading more by this author in the future.  

    A big thanks to NetGalley, Bill Thompson and his publishers, for allowing me to read this book for free in exchange for an honest review. 

    If you'd like to check out the blurb or by your own copy you can do so by clicking here. It's already been released and is available in paperback and kindle format, and if your lucky enough to have kindle unlimited, you can read it for free too. (Please bare in mind this information was correct when the blog was published but may have changed since.)

    Well love and hugs all and if you read it, please let me know what you thought in the comments. Because sharing is caring and when it comes to books, sharing is also super fun. 

Book thoughts: The Burning Girls C.J Tudor

 

    Jack Brook, is a city based vicar who is forced to move to the countryside with her Daughter, for her job. As soon as she arrives at her new home strange things start to occur, including a young girl running into the church yard covered in blood. 

    This one just all felt a bit too far fetched for me, I didn't related to the characters and found I had to force myself to pick it up and keep going. 

    It's also very graphic, more so than I felt it needed to be. I mean a one point you have a man in very graphic detail, trying to force another to give him head. It made my stomach turn, I won't lie. Maybe it's more to do with abuse I suffered as a child, but I don't feel books need to be this graphic there are ways to say it without having to be so detailed. 

    I know a lot of people love C.J. Tudor books, and so I can't say don't read it, it was terrible, I wouldn't say that about any book, because after all we are all different. But this one definitely wasn't for me. 

    As always thank you to NetGalley, the author and her publisher for allowing me to read this one ahead of its released. Apologies for not enjoying it. 

    But if you would like to read the blurb, or give it ago, you can do so by clicking here. The Burning Girls released on the 21st of January 2021 and is available in all formats, including audio. 

Week in review.

 

    First of all let me apologise for missing last weeks, week in review. I am attempting to make up for it by posting this one a little earlier. Not that there is a whole lot to report, due to lockdown. But of course I did have the new higher dose of infliximab in full. That was interesting! 

   

 Now when you have infliximab two nurses have to be present as they read out the medication you are having so they say your name, followed by the drug and then I guess the serial number or something on the box. Most people were having 2 to 4 bottles of infliximab infused. But when they came to read out mine, there were 18!! Even though they have said I was on a high dose from the start and then a really high dose when they doubled that, before doubling it a second time, I don't think I fully realised how high until that moment as I sat there cringing at every new bottle they read out. And saw more and more heads turning in my direction. My fellow Crohnnies, shocked by the seemingly never ending number of bottles, about to be pumped into my veins. 

    Dan try's to make light of it, and says that I am winning the Chemo top trumps, but it doesn't feel like the sort of thing you want to win at. 

    Oh and how rough did I look after! I was so tired and my brain was like mush, it just didn't want to function and both Dan and Sam kept telling me to speak up, even though I didn't realise I was speaking that quietly. 

    And then what felt like the walk of shame, and with a bloody audience too. My weak kneed wobbly shuffle between car and house, clinging to a zimmer frame, desperate to get out of sight as quickly as possible, while across the street, our neighbours watched on, along with a pack of window fitters, there to replace their windows and god knows what else. I was mortified. And in my rush to get out of sight, I forget the simple instructions on the use of said zimmer frame. And instead of moving the frame, getting it set steady on the floor and taking my step, I tried to move the frame and step at the same time, which meant the frame wasn't doing much to steady me, and I was making things harder, instead of easier, but I just couldn't think what I was doing wrong, why it wasn't working, why I was finding it so hard, all I could think was I need to get in that door and out of sight as quickly as possible. 

    Things didn't get any better once I got inside and tried to make my way to the toilet either. I just seemed stuck in panic mode, and I was burning out fast. By some miracle I made it to the bathroom adn then to the living room, but I was done in. 

    It's stupid, I know, to feel ashamed of something you have no control over, but I do! I hate that this drug can make me so weak and wobbly and that I need to use a walking frame to get around after having an infusion, but I do. 

    Thankfully, I did eventually remember how to use the frame properly and once I did it did help, but I won't lie, I was relieved when by the next day I was feeling steady enough on my feet to ditch it. 

    And that is the plus point in all of this, the more of these infusions I have the quicker I seem to recover. Although whether it is actually working now, this higher dose, I don't know and won't know until my course of steroids comes to and end. 

    Tomorrow, I get the joy of a pip assessment, I hate pip assessments, I wish they would go back to the old system, but it is what it is. 

    Most of the week again has been spent minecrafting. We've build some interesting little mushroom houses, and some fantasy style treehouses. And Dan has just started working on the chateau from escape to the chateau, we love that program. Do you watch it? With Dick and Angel. 

    I changed my profile picture on a lot of my different sites too. To one of my wearing my new wig, I think it actually looks quite nice now. What do you think? 

    And I have been trying to think what I can do for Crohn's and colitis awareness week, which I believe is the first week of December but I am drawing a blank!

    Kye is still being difficult on and off at the moment, I've been trying to get him doing his schoolwork again to try and bring a bit of structure back to him days, but it can be a bit hit and miss. And I've been letting him spend more time on minecraft than I probably should, simply because it's easier, because he tends to behave when he gets to be on there. And with all that's been going on especially these agonising stress migraines I keep getting, I'm way to keen for anything that means I get a peaceful life. 

    Well that's pretty much it for now. All that remains is to ask, how are you coping with lockdown? What do you think of this new tier system, and do you have any nice plans, for the end of lockdown? 

love and hugs all 

Joss xx