What's up Wednesday

What's up Wednesday is run by the lovely Jaime Morrow and her sister Erin L.Funk. You can check out their blogs by clicking their names. It's a really simple blog fest. Each week we answer the questions below and you get to learn a little about what we are up to. So, lets get started. 

1. WHAT I'M READING
2. WHAT I'M WRITING
3. WHAT INSPIRES ME, RIGHT NOW
4. WHAT ELSE I'VE BEEN UP TO

1.) what I'm reading. 

I am currently reading The Raven Boys, by Maggie Stiefvater. I'm about half way through it now and really enjoying it, although it did take me a little while to really get into this one. I seemed to stumble a lot over the words, in the beginning, and had to keep going back to re-read parts of it; which is unusual for me with Maggie's books.

Before this, I read The Scorpio Races, also by Maggie Stiefvater, and I absolutely loved that. From the first page to the last, I was hooked. 

2) What I'm writing. 

Currently, I am still editing Memory Book and working on my new WIP, which finally has a name, Finding Kelsey and a possible cover, too. 

I'll probably come up with a few covers, before I make an actual guaranteed choice, but here is the first one I have come up with. I would love to know what you think. The art work for this cover is all mine I drew it, then photo edited it, before transforming it into an actual cover. 

I love playing around with cover ideas to go along with what I write. If anyone wants a cover at any time, I'd be happy to have a play around, if I have time. I won't charge for covers, as this is something I really just do for fun, So, if you ever want me to have a play on your behalf, if I have the time, I'd be more than happy to. :)

3) What's inspiring me right now.

Other people's kindness always inspires me. There was a time, when I struggled to see any kindness in the world and now I am seeing it everywhere. I have always been the kind of person who feared others judgement and am slowly starting to realise that those that do make unfair judgements are normally unhappy in their own life and it causes them to ridicule and belittle others. You have to forgive these people for their hurtful words and their pain and move on; while, at the same time, being grateful for all the good people out there, and there are a lot of good people, if you open your eyes enough to see them. 

4) What else I've been up to. 

Spending lots of time with my lovely little family; something I really needed, after what has been a fairly rough time of late. Also, clearing excess junk out of my life, in order than I can move forward; something I have been struggling to do for quite a few years now, due to old ties, holding me back. 

I've had a difficult relationship with some of my closest blood relatives, my mother especially. We had been trying to fix the damage with therapy, but it all became too difficult, when my mother admitted that she had known her partner was abusing me and done nothing. It was something I had always suspected, but actually hearing it aloud was incredibly difficult; especially as she had gone out of her way, all my life, to accuse me of being a liar about the abuse, despite some of the very serious injuries I received because of it. 

The stupid part is I understand now why she went out of her way to make me look like a liar. It was a desperate attempt to protect herself, because of her lack of action. What I struggle to understand is how a mother could sit back and do nothing, knowing that her child was being beaten on a regular basis; especially given that my own mother was abused as a child herself. I could never do that to my own child, but then I suppose everyone is different. 

At any rate, this week, I finally put a pin in that part of my life and broke away from my mother completely; something I probably should have done a long time ago, but I guess I clung to the hope that one day things would change; she would change. 

I am very lucky though, as I have found and built a beautiful family of my own with my wonderful husband and beautiful little boy. Not to mention a lot of great friends, who I think of very much as my family, and a whole host of wonderful furry friends, too. 

I thought it would hurt a lot to finally say goodbye to my blood relatives, but I actually feel lighter, somehow. 

The only time I find it hard is when I see people talking about the importance of mums and how they should be respected and loved. I wonder, if they'd had my mother, would they feel the same?
People reassure me that I have done the right thing, but I am sure, for a while, there will be doubts. Hopefully, with time though, this will change; because, deep down, I know I did what I needed to do. The only mistake I think I made was leaving it so long before taking this step. 

Onward and upwards, as they say. 

As a final note, I need to give a big thank you to my awesome husband, who brought me a lovely box of Milk Tray yesterday. I am not sure what I did to deserve it, but I really appreciated it and will be enjoying them immensely, over the next few days. 

Well, that's me. What have you been up to this week? 

Love and hugs, Joss xx