Monday, 11 June 2012


It is so easy in life, to take our freedom for granted. For years I did it, without a second thought and it was only when I lost that freedom that I realised what I'd been so lucky to have, for so long. 
You see I used to love to walk and I would go miles and miles with my dog's, over hill's. field's, streams and moors and I never once stopped to think how lucky I was.
But then I had my son an amazing and wonderful thing, that sadly took away my freedom. 
You see my labour with my son was very long 53 hours in total and although I tried to get through it with just gas and air, by the time e got to hour 50 I was exhausted. The midwives had been trying to get me to have an epidural for awhile afraid that I would not have the strength to push when the time came, but I had resisted, hour 50 however, I admitted defeat and the epidural was a heavenly relief, at last I could close my eye's and sleep, something I hadn't been able to do, since the labour started. As I lay there, free from pain, I was oblivious to how those few pain free hours, would result in a lifetime of agonising back pain. 

So now, I can stand for just a few minutes, walking even to the top of my short road is impossible and because I loved to walk, I had never learned to drive and didn't want to. 
For 4 and a half years I became a prisoner in my own home, because of my own body. Only able to get out with my husband at weekends and the odd evening, when he would drive and even then only able to go, where the car could go, there was no getting out and walking around the shops, as we would have before. 

I felt completely alone, lost, trapped and then my son time to start school drew closer and I had no idea how I was going to be able to get him to the bus, it was this and this alone that made me admit that I needed help and I got it. 
The motability scheme has given me back my freedom in the form of a little blue mobility scooter that I have named Speedy McNipster, now I can walk my dogs again, in fact we went ten miles today, I can nip to the shop, collect my son from school, I can escape my home, on my own. I can to a degree be normal, once again. 

In life we take so much for granted, we think that this is how our life will always be, that nothing could ever go wrong, but in the blink of an eye it can all change, I appreciate the freedom I now have, it doesn't come close to how my life used to be, but it is a vast improvement on the 4 and a half years I spent trapped in my own home. 

A mobility scooter, a fairly good one, will set you back over £3000 pounds, then their is insurance, recovery if you break down, a complete must if you can't walk and the cost's of keeping it charged which are actually very reasonable and lastly a regular service, because this after all is replacing your legs, so it needsto be reliable. 

I couldn't have got speedy without the motability scheme, I wouldn't have been able to get my son to school, or be able to take him to the park. 

There are two point's I am trying to make here, the first is that we all must live our lives to the full, be thank full for all we have, and cherish every moment because we never know when things might change and the second, is don't misjudge others, everyday I hear stories of people complaining about those who receive disability living allowance, and obtain cars or mobility scooters through the motability scheme. 

Although there are those who make false claim's, there are hundreds more who genuinely need that service and for those of us who do, it is a life saver, giving us back our freedom. 

take care all and thanks for reading xxx

Sunday, 10 June 2012

help gratefully received!

Hello all,
So today, I am appealing for help and advice on a somewhat sensitive matter. That involves my son and his grandmother, my mother-in-law. (Yikes, I know)
So to the problem, I have raised my son to be polite and to have good manners, not to hit or kick people, or throw things at people unless, it is in play and then only if the other person is as into the play as he himself is. So that's pretty straight forward.
However, having recently got my husband talking to his mother again after several years of no contact, due to some terrible things she did in the past, that are kind of irrelevant here, so I won't go into them, we have started to allow Kye to go and stay with her for short periods of time over his half terms. He has now been to stay with her twice and has come back behaving in ways that really aren't acceptable.
For example, the first time he went to stay with her he came back with a very bad habit of throwing things at people. Of constantly interrupting people when they are speaking, of having sulks when you ask him to please wait or to say please and thank you, something he always did without thinking before, and well he is just generally being a little brat.
Being that we have only recently allowed my husbands mother back into our lives, I am a bit nervous of bringing the subject up with her. However, I am feeling less and less inclined to let Kye go and stay with her because of this.
There are so many kids running wild these days I was determined my son wasn't going to be one of them and would learn about respect and manners. It's something that we instilled in him from day one and which till now was just second nature to him. I can't believe how quickly that all comes undone when he stays with his Gran, it isn't like he hasn't been away from home before, he has had countless stays in hospital due to his asthma and with my own mother and it has never changed how he behaves, I just can't understand what she is doing with him that is causing him to act out so badly.
At first I wondered if she was just overly spoiling him, which I figured having missed out on him so long was kind of understandable, but when she started to say that he needed to be toughened up, I started to have my doubts, especially as it seemed she was saying this because he says sorry if he knocks something over, or  drops or breaks something. Again something which to me is just good manners, but which she seems to feel is wimpy.
It's all a bit shocking for me we have only ever had compliments for how  polite Kye is, to be told that politeness makes him wimpy is hard to stomach.
So I guess this is why I am appealing to all you lovely's out there in blog land, what do you think about this and what do you think I should do.
love and hugs
Joss. xx

Friday, 1 June 2012

Ready to begin, I think!

Ok so I am less than enthusiastic about getting started with Campnanowrimo, but I did finish reading the last of the Wolves of Mercy Falls by Maggie Stiefvater books which I very much enjoyed if you haven't given it a go and you liked twilight it might be right up your street I really enjoyed it. So that is one less distraction for me as those books were really keeping me enthralled and it would have been hard for me to pull myself away from the in order to fulfil my Campnanowrimo daily word counts. 
Still though I am very much lacking in motivation so it is very much going to be a case of forcing myself to get going and stay going and what with my constant email checking and 5 year old son home, I get the feeling it may be a long and very tedious day. 
Still I just have to keep telling myself that it will all be worth it in the end. For all those taking part in campnanowrimo this year, I hope you are have a more enthusiastic start than I lol.