Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Interesting questions.

So it's been a while, yet again, since I have been on here. Why do I always feel as if every time I come on here to post, I say that? Oh yeah, that's because I pretty much do lol.
Ok I know I need to pull my finger out and that is what I am currently trying to do. I figure with Insane Reno now in paperback and my next novel under way that it is really time to start pulling my finger out and focusing on the more productive things in life. Blogging being a part of that, along with trying to get a diploma in English Language and Literature and of course, getting my second novel done.
Am I taking on to much? Maybe but if we don't try we never know.

So getting back on track, in my English language and literature course, I was asked some very interesting questions that really got me thinking and so I thought for today's blog post I would try to answer those questions here. Try being the important word here as they are pretty tough questions.

They are however, questions that are meant to inspire you to think, write and share. So lets give it a go. Feel free to have a go at answering them yourselves to and just leave me a link to your post if you share your thoughts, as I would be very interested to hear them.

So the Questions:

1) If I had only one message to share with the world what would it be?

I guess for me it would have to be that we all need to stop being so judgemental. Just because someone is different from what you or I perceive as the norm, does not make them weird, or something to be afraid of, or someone that we should  ridicule or to hate.

Unless we have walked in someone's shoes we really cannot judge their choices, style or anything else about them. To often, I feel, we look at people and we think they are this or that, based on either there appearance or their actions without fully getting to know someone.

I know from personal experience that people are inclined to believe the worst of someone just from first glance and it is so wrong.

let me give you a few examples of this.

First off I am a bigger woman, I am a bigger woman, because I like junk food too much. I am not gonna lie and claim all kinds of stuff that isn't true, there is no point. The simple fact is I eat to much and don't exercise enough.

This started when I met my husband, before I met him I was bigger than I would have liked to be but I kept my weight under control because I walked a lot. In fact I walked miles and miles along the cliffs with my dogs and other peoples dogs everyday.

However, when I met my husband he wasn't a big walker and so slowly I stopped walking too. I would still run the dogs out quickly but I didn't go miles and miles like I once had and I stopped walking other peoples dogs as well.

The sudden drop in activity combined with my continuation of my less than healthy eating habits means I ballooned pretty quickly.

Now, I use a mobility scooter to get around. So instantly a large number of you are probably thinking that it is because I am fat. But that is actually not the case. I use a mobility scooter because when I had my son I had an epidural and it went wrong, the result being that my spine has been damaged so badly that I can only stand for very short periods now and only walk very short distances. Literally from one room to another in my house.

Now, my weight naturally doesn't help in the sense that it puts more pressure on my damaged spine, but my doctors have assured me that regardless of my size I would have ended up where I am now, because of the epidural.

However, people see you out on the scooter and see your size and they assume you use it because you are fat. Coming to terms with a disability especially one that may ultimately leave you paralysed is a terrible thing and incredibly difficult.
When you add to that hurtful comments of others and their completely wrong judgements it makes it so much harder.
The result a lot of people in my situation stop going out at all, because they can't cope with peoples disgusted stares and nasty comments.

Although I haven't done this myself completely yet, there are times when I have been tempted to hide away too. It was actually my mother-in-law who stopped me, because she said to me, "Jossie, you have as much right to be here as they do." and she is right of course I do. So does everyone else.

Ultimately all we do when we judge others is make ourselves look bad. We don't know what that homeless guy has been through. We don't know why that mother gave up her children. We don't know why that big woman is in a wheelchair.

perhaps the homeless guy, once had a home and a family. Perhaps he once had a job just like yours and a life just like yours, with nice things and a pretty house. Maybe he lost his whole family in a terrible accident and couldn't bare to be in that house any more, or couldn't bare to work, to function in the way he once had.
The result, he lost everything he owned as well as everyone he loved.

Maybe the mother gave up her children to save them from being abused by her violent husband. Maybe she cries herself to sleep every night, from missing them. Perhaps she'd give anything to have them back, but she's scared of what he'd do to her if she left him.

And the big woman in the wheelchair, well maybe she's just like me :(

so if I could leave the world with one message, it would be to stop judging, because even in the most broken of places, truly special people can be found.

2) When have I felt happiest, saddest, angriest?

My happiest moments come from watching my son and my husband playing together. Hearing there laughter and joy instantly brings a smile to my face. The love they have for each other, the love that we all share for each other, is an amazing thing, it helps us to see that no matter what happens in life we will always have each other, and what better gift could you ask for.

My saddest moments, are when my family are sad, when people are care about are sad. You feel as if you can handle anything that is thrown at you, but when you see someone you love suffering. You just want to pull them into your arms and kiss away all their tears, fears and problems. When I can't do that. When I can't make everything okay for them again, it really makes me sad.

My angriest moments are when I see a bully picking on someone. I don't think anyone has a right to make anyone feel small or worthless and I think those that do it, do so because of their own insecurities. I hate bullies and bullies always make me very angry.

I am going to leave these questions here for now and come back and do more tomorrow, simply because I did not realise just how long this post would get after just 2 questions. So I will do this in several parts, throughout this week, love and hugs Joss xx