Sunday, 6 December 2015

Not so silent night

Yes it's been another sleepless night for me, my eye's roaming over my iPhone screen as I devourer yet another book by a newly discovered author, who's words have kept me going through several seemingly endless nights of late. 

Tonight has been a less than quite one; however, as first my cat Molly kicked up a stink from the back room having apparently been hidden in their earlier when the door got shut and now her sister Mia is doing the same in the hall wanting to come in with me so she can get up in my face and steal my attention. Sorry Mia but you will have to wait. 

It's been a tough night, My seemingly stopped monthly deciding to come back with avengence around midnight, left me decidedly unhappy and when it was joined by a bout of acid reflux that refused to go away I was all but ready to scream.

Now 4:26 am and sleep is still illuding me and I know that come mid morning I will be fighting to keep my eyes open and cursing my inability to sleep when I ought to. 

Yes, I'm cranky and decidedly sore tonight. My back pain being a huge player in my inability to sleep, as it insist on constantly sending sharp spasms of pain shooting through my lower back that I can only imagine to be somewhat similar to someone shoving a decidedly sharp blade into my spine repeatedly. 

A pain that is so bad even my prescribed meds can't touch it. 

It's nights like this when my disability really gets me down and after two weeks of feeling trapped in my own home, due to Steve the Saab blocking the drive, due to some mechanical failure now thankfully fixed, I am really starting to go a little stir crazy. 

Hubby assures me that Steve will be there just one more day before he returns to work with afore mentioned hubby and Speedy McNipster (the mobility scooter) My son and I will be free to roam once more. I can't wait. 

Today though, will be another day trapped in doors, no doubt bored beyond belief. 

So why I am sharing this? Well two reasons really. For one I need to rant and seeing as everyone I know will be safely tucked in bed right now, my blog is my only outlet, but secondly, because so many people comment on how well I cope with my disability and the pain it brings and I wanted to show people that I do indeed have bad days or night, in which I definitely struggle to cope. 

The reality is I think it would be difficult for anyone no matter how positive or upbeat they may appear to not on occasion have a bad day. 

I also believe that these bad days are needed from time to time. I think letting the frustration out can be good, as long as she do not allow that frustration to consume you. 

So let's get some discussion going here! Are you a ranter? How do you deal with the frustrations of life? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this matter.

Love and hugs
Joss xx

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