Friday, 23 May 2014

I'm back and I have a plan. :)

So, I’m back after a surprisingly short break and though right now I cannot guarantee how regularly I will be posting, I have, in my little break from blogging, come to some conclusions.

Firstly, I seriously need to focus on being productive, while trying harder not to sit around worrying about things I cannot change, such as the situation with BOB.

Yes I am worried about him and the way he is letting his life go right now, but we all have a journey to make and sometimes we have to take a whole lot of wrong turns, in order to find the right ones.

BOB is really racking up the wrongs right now and it scares me and worries me because no matter what I adore him, he is one of my best friends or maybe that’s WAS one of my best friends, I don’t know anymore, but at any rate you can’t just switch off from caring about someone, it doesn’t work like that.

That’s been a huge part of the problem for me of late. I guess I feel like people expect me to no longer care and if I show even a hint of caring for him, I get the whole “look at what he has done to you” speech. 

I know what he has done is bad. I do. I am not delusional about that, but he isn’t well. He is in a really bad place mentally right now and so I figure, to a degree, I have to cut him some slack.

So I have decided, to pray. It’s the only thing I know that I can do for BOB right now, that has any hope of being beneficial. So, I’m gonna give it to God and try to focus on my own life and just hope that one day, BOB will find his way back onto the right path again.

I wish I could say I came up with that idea all on my own, but sadly I did not. I have been reading a book that kind of deals with the subject of bad choices and how sometimes we have to go to a very dark place before we can see the light. I guess God figured I was in need of a bit of a hint and so he popped Bridge to haven by Francine Rivers through my letterbox just when I needed it most. I actually pre-ordered the book ages ago and they kept changing the release date. So I’d pretty much forgotten about it. So Thank you God and Francine Rivers.

So, praying and giving my BOB problems to God is the first step on my list.

Step two, get more focused on real life. I have spent way too many years playing second life and I do love it and it is a good escape, but the last few weeks with my internet being terrible. I have achieved a lot more than normal and feel so much better in myself for it. Including a massive de-clutter of my living room, which has really been a long time coming.

The room looks so much bigger now and far more inviting. Although I still have an old fish tank to get rid of, if anyone wants it.

I think having a clutter free and clean home goes a long way to making you feel better.

On top of that I have started penpaling again which I am really enjoying as well as spending more time with my hubby and son, which has been so much fun and you see that’s the problem with second life. Sometimes you escape so far into a fake world you forget how great the real world is, when you make the effort.

Step three:  get organised.

I have note books and folders everywhere. I need to get more organised and so I have purchased 3 large adorable folders. One for ideas (currently scattered on scraps of paper all over the shop and in note books galore. ) and the other two for notes on my current works in progress. Yep I plan to only have two works in progress on the go at a time and as I can’t bring myself to work on any of the BOB projects, namely those he was helping me with before everything went wrong. I am going to focus on deciding on a new project to begin. Something I hope to find as I am gathering together all my ideas into my new, ideas folder.
Step four: Start Ludo’s service dog training again.

I need something to do that is fun and I love working with Ludo and teaching him new things. I have already started on calming him down and my bestie Sammie is going to help me get him past his nervousness around other dogs, which got really bad after he was charged by two very large ones, whilst out on a walk one day.

I need Sammie’s help with this, as Ludo  just  jumps on the scooter and hides behind my legs, or yanks around the scooter now whenever he see’s dogs coming. Making it very hard for me to help him deal with the situation calmly, plus controlling a petrified dog  and a mobility scooter at the same time is not much fun.
So Sammie is going to take him out for some walks and help boost his confidence with dogs, as well as take him out around town and teach him to greet others calmly, instead of Ludo’s normal approach of,  “OH MY GOD, I DON’T KNOW YOU, BUT I LOVE YOU. LET ME JUMP UP AND GET IN YOUR FACE AND SMOTHER YOU WITH KISSES.”  Which naturally not everyone finds as endearing as Ludo thinks they should. Especially when he is muddy.

Step Five: Get writing, be it doing a prompt, writing exercise or blog post. It doesn’t matter but I do need to get writing again, because the longer I leave it without writing the harder it will be to dive back in later.


Well that’s it from me for now, but I’ll be back again tomorrow all going well to tell you a bit more about what I have been up too and possibly introduce you to a new furry friend or two. 

Love and hugs
Joss xx

1 comment:

  1. That sounds like an excellent plan. I with you a lot of luck with BOB and second life. I understand how addictive games are, as I spent many years playing World of Warcraft. My husband and I would say we were going to quit, and then after a month we'd be back to playing because it was inexpensive entertainment and we were bored. All of our friends played too, so conversations always gravitated in that direction, making it even harder to stay away. What finally pulled the trigger was WoW caused a fight between us. After that, we shut down the accounts and haven't been back. Having your son and husband outside of second life will probably help a lot.

    I hope your dog training goes well!