Thursday, 12 June 2014

Finding myself

I've not be posting much of late and it's been for two reasons really, the first being that the post I did before this one was a very deserving one and I wanted as many people as possible to see it. Secondly, I've been trying to find myself and figure out where I am going in life and what I want.

For the last few years I allowed someone who was meant to be my best friend to pretty much dictate and control my life. That was stupid, although I didn't realise it at the time. As a result of that, I really lost a very fundamental part of myself. My love of people, of socialization and having fun.

These last couple of months I have been able to get that side of me back and slowly, but surely I am blossoming back into my old self again.

I've discovered a lot throughout this journey and one of the biggest things I have learned is that the best thing you can be, is you. Okay so maybe you're not perfect, but then seriously who is and at any rate the only people your faults will matter too, are the people who don't matter.

What we all need to do is love more and hate less, because at the end of the day, regardless of our faults or our mistakes, we are all the same, HUMAN and we are all just trying to make the best of life.

I wasted years of my life worrying about what people thought about me. How they would judge me for my weight, teeth, hair, clothes, lack of mobility, the way I laughed, ate, walked, pretty much everything about me never really realizing that it doesn't matter. I would love to tell you I am over that and I just don't care any more, but well it's a hard thing to switch off, but I am going to be working on doing just that and living my life regardless.

We're all beautiful in our own way, I really believe that and we all have something of value to offer the world, even if at times we feel as if we do not.

People who try to make us feel small or worthless, do it because there is something in there life, either past or present that has hurt them. I think for many it is a case of monkey see monkey do. Like if all the popular people are nasty to others and I do the same then I am cool too, but that is not the soul reason for doing it in my opinion. I think lots of other little things contribute, fear of being hurt, jealousy, the sense that there is no justice and that life is unfair.

What we as the human race need to ask ourselves is do we really want to be that person?

I'm mean really look at there lives.

The person claiming benefits unfairly.

Sitting there in their home, while others go out and slog day in day out to pay for there laziness. Unable to say that they have achieved anything in life, that they have anything to be proud of, beyond perhaps children.
Children who may ultimately grow up to do the same or even perhaps to look down on their parents for their lack of ethics and responsibility.

My mum didn't do that, in fact she went out and worked several jobs to support me and my sisters after my father left and I am proud of her for that, it wasn't always easy, her working all the time, but she did it for the right reasons and that's not to say all mum's who stay at home claiming are bad people, because they are not in fact I don't think anyone is truly a bad person I think we sometimes give up or lose our way.

Kids, they grow up they go to school and there are so many jobs a mum can do while her kids are at school, me I write and I don't just mean blog posts, but even I could do with doing a lot more of that in my child free time and a lot less social networking, which tends to steal my attention sometimes.

And there are other good points of getting a job, such as meeting new people, getting a life out side of your home and away from your kids, because lets face it, everyone needs that in varying degrees.

So yes those claiming benefits unfairly may seem at times as if they have it easy, but how much are they losing out on without even realizing it.

and if you look at any example of people gone wrong, you will probably find there are pros and cons just like most life situations.

I was going to list more but I am fast running out of time, but just think about it, there really are pros and cons to most situations.

So I am getting back on my feet at any rate and trying to look at life in a different way.

love and hugs Joss xxx

Ps, the pictures dotted throughout the post are just some of the random photo's I have taken of the fun I have been having on SL lately. Making new friends and finding myself again. Second life is a great way for me to do this due to my disability and the difficult I have getting out and about as much as I would like. So this is a big part of why I utilize it in my life.


  1. Beautiful post. I found myself nodding enthusiastically to many of the points you made.

    Glad to hear you're taking control of your life again! Keep it up!

  2. So glad you found your way back. It does take many of us to figure out who we are, without being guided by the influence of others.

  3. Congratulations on recognizing what was happening and taking action. That's not always easy to do.

  4. SL- some good times. Hanging with the furries? Or is that the free unicorn outfit for new "resident" avatars?

    Good points in the post. Sometimes one just needs to step back and reflect.

  5. So glad you're doing things for yourself! Keep it up!! :)