So my son turned 14 yesterday. It seems so crazy, like only yesterday he was the adorable little chubbster above. They grow way too fast.
He enjoyed two birthday cakes, one from us and one made by his Nan and lots of great presents, including a kindle fire, some technics, lots of money (he’s main request,) and some games and books, including a challenging puzzle book for very clever kids, compliments of his Godmother, that bitch I know, Sam. (Note: she wasn’t impressed by me calling her my friend Sam, so from now on I shall come up with a whole host of new titles for her, such as the one above.)
The day was going really well, even though my mother completely ignored my request that she come earlier rather than later, as we had things to do. She’s good at that.
Kye was building his Ducati technics motorbike, Dan was watching TV, and I was reading my book and was having only mild bursts of pain.
Dan had even lit the fire, as it was pretty chilly in the morning.
Mum came and we all chatted and Kye opened her pressie, a build your own robot hand kit, and she pop some candles on his cake, we did the whole happy birthday song and Kye blew out the candles, which caused Dan to Christen the cake corona cake, before he dished it up and we all had a piece and very good it was too. Although I cringed as both Terry and mum started feeding bits to Millie and Ludo. Bloody chocolate cake too!
Thankfully because they know I don’t like them doing that it was very small pieces but still, it really annoys me, which is why Terry does it. He just that sort of person.
Had I have tried to argue though he’d have snuck them much bigger pieces, I know, because he has done it before.
There poor dog Holly who is the sweetest little thing, is a walking barrel and god know how much her life has been shortened by all the crap they feed her and being a cavie x she’ll devourer anything and everything.
They also have a little yorkie x who thankfully is pretty fussy when it comes to food and so has managed to avoid becoming a walking barrel, unlike poor Holly anywho, back on topic.
So mum and Terry were just leaving when my stomach started to churn and I got the feeling that I needed to poop. I’ve been waiting since Tuesday for a poo, devouring laxatives trying to shift the blockage being cause by the intestinal stricture. I knew by shifting that I would ease the awful pain I had been in.
So then safely out the door, I waddled on unsteady feet to the bathroom and sure enough the exodus began and of my God, the smell, it was enough to wipe out the entire population of week. But I did not care, at last it was all coming out, at last I was going to get some proper relief, or so I thought.
What followed however was far from relief, I was besieged by wave after wave of agonizing stomach cramps, so bad, death seemed preferable.
I have to admit, it was so bad I was starting to think A&E was my best option.
But it was Kye’s bday, I couldn’t do that on his birthday. So I determined to tough it out.
I swear it was like someone was trying to rip my insides apart, and in the end I had no choice but to sleep, a quick nap I thought, just to get me through the worst. It was about half 5 at that time, so to sleep I went and a sleep I stayed till half 9 , just half an hour before bedtime.
And when I woke, things were no better. Another toilet break, with more of the stinky stuff, and then bedtime.
Walking was agony, lying down on the bed, agony!
I couldn’t believe how much pain I was in. Then I wake up at 4 am.
My stomach feels still and quiet and I think it has mercifully stopped, but nope, as soon as I go to get up there it is again.
God help me! When is this gonna end, because the Infliximab doesn’t seem to be doing anything, and every time I think things are improving it comes back with a vengeance.
But what do I do? Do I call the doctor or my IBD team at the hospital, because since I got my diagnosis neither has been all that much help.
People who have Crohns, say just go to A&E, that that’s the only way you get the help. But I don’t want to be stuck in hospital for God knows how long just so they can pump me full of pain killers, I’d rather be at home with my family, waiting for the pain to ease, which so far it always has given time.
I just want them to figure out a medication that’s actually going to work, like the steroids did. Because I’m really not sure how much more of this I can take.
So yep, I’m struggling at the moment, really struggling. And I’ve no idea where to turn for help!
I guess I’ll just have to hope the pain eases up today.
Well, that’s it from me for now.
Love and hugs
Joss xx
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