Saturday, 26 March 2011

late night/ early morning ramblings (if this doesnt send you to sleep nothing will)

I really got into my writing tonight so much so that I looked at my clock at 11pm and shock horror, didn’t look up from my writing until the early hours, gone 2am to be a little more précis.

Anywho, shortly after this a very sleepy Dan wandered down the hall, in his boxers, for the loo. Bless him he looked exhausted, and gazed at me rather perplexed, till he saw word open, on my first chapter of the sequel to Insane Reno titled Annie.

Well I figured seeing as I was up anyway, I’d wait for CJ to get home from work (the joy of different time zones) and show him how much of a busy bee I’ve been, (his editor side all love that) but it’s now 4:30 am and still no sign of him.

I’m in a very playful mood so slightly disappointed by his no show as I could have done with someone to bounce around, and exude some excess energy on. He’ll be relieved he was a no show now lol.

Just realised my phone is saying a different time from my computer, and am now completely confused which is right, as they are different by an hour lol.

Did the clock change, and I just missed it?

I know they have in America but I didn’t think they had in the UK yet. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr don’t you just hate voice mail. Chances are he just got home and forgot to turn his phone on and check his messages.

Anyway enough about that...

A few things have happened lately that have left me thinking about stuff that normally I wouldn’t really think about, in relationships for instance, trust I think is a very important thing, if it’s lacking, is it really possible to make it work.

I have seen a lot of relationships that have gone irreparably south due to lack of trust, sometimes a lack of trust that has arose because of the other person in a relationship and sometimes a lack of trust that has arisen, due to past relationships.

I had things happen in my marriage to Dan a long time ago that shook our relationship a fair amount, and although it was hard to get past it, over time I did manage too and was able to move on, there was the odd occasion when it would pop back up again, but otherwise it has been relatively ok.

The other thing is the whole the grass is always greener on the other side theory. Playing second life you see an awful lot of people who are married having relationships online, some of them have spouses that are aware that they do this, and they say that it is not cheating, because it is simply online and not real.

I find this very hard to understand as I met Dan online, and to me regardless of if a relationship is online or not it is real.

Bare with me I am getting to the point lol.

But coming back around to the grass is always greener theory, I can’t help but wonder if too many people are just bailing out of perfectly good relationships in the belief that a new one will be better, when in reality it just involves a whole new set of problems and maybe a few old one, that just haven’t raised there head yet.

Is it really better to jump ship, and pick up with someone else, or better to stay where you are and work to make things work.

I’m starting to think, personally that maybe it is better to stay where you are, after all there was something there once surely, and at least you truly know where you stand with that person, not to mention the fact that they want you around, trust you and if you’ve been together long enough you know all their little habits good and bad.

I know one thing though; it really hurts if someone accuses you or distrusts you for something you never actually did. It leaves you feeling very confused, afraid and I guess angry and disappointed too.

Wow maybe I’m more tired than I realised I do seem to be rambling an awful lot lol.

I dunno, I guess I just have a lot of thoughts going through my head right now.

Anywho would love your opinions on these topics lol, as always love and hugs joss xxx

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