Saturday, 23 July 2011

oppsie day 2 of writing prompt challenge now posted on the right blog lol

I just realised I stupidly posted my day 2 post on my other blog, instead of this one so re posting it here now lol.

Divorce, it's not the nicest of word in the world, I am very lucky as I have never been divorced and hope that I never will be, but I have seen first hand the damage Divorce can do to a family.

My Parent's went through a particularly bad divorce. Not in the sense of fighting over who got what as we didn't really have all that much at any rate, an
d as mum couldn't drive dad got the car, and as Dad didn't want us, mum got the kids, and the council house to boot.

But in the sense that my fathers unfaithfulness, tore through my mother and destroyed her, and being the youngest and the only one out of us three gi
rls who was around much, my sisters being well into the teens and off out all the time. I was the one who remained at home, watching my mother full to pieces.

life after my parents divorce was just one disaster after another, and as a result our once relatively happy family grew apart, the closeness we had once had was shattered, and now none of us really talk to each other all that much, and some of us don't talk to each other at all.

Divorce is a bad thing however you look at it, but sometimes it is for the best, my father was never going to stop his wandering ways, and had mum of stayed with him she would have ended up the same way she did eventually at any rate, Marrying my dad was her mistake, but then if she hadn't, I never would have been born, and nor would my sisters.

Recently I became a born again Christian, and at the time my marriage was pretty rocky, I felt sure that it was just a matter of time before it all came crumbling down around my ears.
Unlike my mother and fathers relationship, there was no single person at fault, we were both at fault.

I wasn't giving my husband what he needed because I felt like he wasn't giving me what I needed and he in turn, wasn't giving me what I
needed because he felt I wasn't meeting his needs.

It was a vicious circle with both of us to stubborn to start giving first.

It took reading a fair few Christian books on marriage to turn my own marriage around, but it has turned around.

Now we are the couple we used to be once more, the couple everyone wants to be, or so my friends tell me.

Before I actually stopped and looked at marriage
, before I actually took the time to read up about it and try and understand things from his point of view as well as my own, divorce seemed the only route open to me.

I did not considered it wrong to get a divorce, and I still don't if you really have tried to work things out, but the problem is, I don't think we really do any more.

I think we have become a throw away world, where if it breaks we just chuck it in the bin, and go and get another one, without stopping to try and fix things, and sadly it seems even our marriages have become throw away.

I think if more of us had been taught the old
values, or Christian values when it comes to marriage, there would be a lot fewer divorces that we currently have.

I also feel that you don't have to be a Christian to read a Christian book on marriage, such as Men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti, (hilariously funny, and really easy to relate to) and see that it is good advice.

I was so sceptical when I started reading those books, thinking to myself, none of this is going to fix my husband, but they weren't there to fix my husband they were there to fix me, and when I started to fix myself by following the books id
eas, my husband too started to fix himself and suddenly we were like newly weds all over again.

We saved our marriage from divorce, and I am so glad that we did, we're not perfect we never will be, but we know how to communicate with each other better, to listen, to judge each others moods and needs, and I think it is possible for a lot more people to save there marriage.

I don't think we will ever make divorce and forgotten world, but wouldn't it be great if we could lower the rate of divorce, and see more families staying together for life.

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